The Botany Shop celebrated our one-year anniversary in the Near Northwest Neighborhood on Saturday, July 16, 2022. A two-part event, we welcomed hundreds of neighbors and friends for a block party and maker market during the day with a sold-out botanical drag show-community-visioning-fundraiser in the evening, raising over $600 for TREES (Transgender Resource, Education and Enrichment Services). You can explore photos from the day here, thanks to Emily Violet Photography.
If you’ve seen Pixar’s Inside Out, you’re familiar with the term “core memory” which are memories created when a person experiences a certain event that defines one of their permanent behavioral traits – something they’ll carry with them for the rest of their life.
Plant Pride is undeniably a new core memory for me. If you joined us at any point throughout the day, especially the evening, I hope it might be one for you, too.
I’m writing today because I feel I need to record how I’m feeling in this moment. It’s still a little raw, unpolished, and unrefined, and that’s ok. I had my guard up all week, my event-planning-adrenaline-anxiety-fueled armor, and I wasn’t in the moment as much as I wish I had been. I’ve experienced a version of this with prior events, but this was next level.
This celebration has been in the works for months. When the concept began to take shape, it was joyful and exciting with plenty of positive anticipation. As the day grew closer, our community endured one tragedy after another, from mass shootings to a backward spiral in human rights with the reversal of Roe v. Wade, Proud Boys crashing a local inclusive story time at the public library, and an explosive wave of new Covid-19 infections with the BA.5 variant reminding us we might be done with this pandemic, but it isn’t done with us yet.
Normally when I’ve been involved with planning a big outdoor event, the biggest worries are, “What happens if it rains,” or, “What if the caterers are running late,” or, “What if the venue loses power?” These were nowhere near the top of my list for Plant Pride. We did our best to grapple with questions and concerns of health and safety and security and to keep up with the curve balls being thrown our way by the world around us. In moments when everything feels like it’s spinning out of control, I find it helpful to remind myself that you can’t control what happens to you, only your reaction to it.
In the darkest and most fearful moments, I contemplated cancelling all together, until I realized to do so would be a violation of everything Plant Pride was meant to stand for in the first place: cultivating a connected community and growing a place we want to live. I took solace in knowing we’d be surrounded by people who loved us and loved our community. I did a lot of deep breathing (and could have done more).
The week leading up to Plant Pride was one of the most anxious and uncomfortable weeks of my life. Time crawled and raced simultaneously. At times it was excruciating and suffocating. I even caught myself thinking, “I just want it to be over and for everyone to be ok so I can let go of these feelings and we’re never doing this again.” Never in my life have I felt this around a gathering or an event that I had been so hopeful and excited for just a few months ago. It felt like whiplash.
With Plant Pride now in our rear-view mirror, I’m so, so, so glad we didn’t cancel. I’m glad we didn’t give in to fear, hate, divisiveness, anger, or distrust. I’m grateful I pushed through because among the many exceptional and emotional moments that happened during Plant Pride: The Evening, there was a moment where someone in our audience called out what it meant to be brave and courageous. Our exceptional facilitator and MC, Mae Lin, helped us frame that moment and encouraged all of us in the room to rename and reframe those uncomfortable feelings. She reminded us that the counterpart to fear and anxiety is courage and bravery.
That was the moment my “Plant Pride Core Memory” materialized.
It’s one thing to know something in the abstract. I know words are powerful. I know the words we choose and the meaning behind them matter. I know our minds search for patterns to find meaning, and I suddenly recognized a new pattern: I had already practiced this renaming before.
I spent the first decade of my professional life grappling with an imposter complex defined by feelings of inadequacy, inexperience, incompetence, and a constant fear of being “discovered” at any moment. Over the last few years, I’ve managed to rename these feelings and now I use them to remind myself I need to ask for help or make time to learn or study or plan.
Right there, in the middle of Plant Pride, I felt the pre-event anxiety begin to slide away. I felt myself begin to relax, unwind, and enjoy the moment. And wow – just in time, too.
I suddenly saw and felt the community in the room. The stories and emotions shared by so many people in the audience were raw, authentic, vulnerable, and honest. As I scanned the faces – even behind masks – I saw a full range of emotions. We’ve received messages from people who were surprised by what they felt – and are still feeling – after the event. We set out to create a moment and a space where we could collectively envision the type of community we want to live in. We explored themes of safety, resiliency, connection, and empowerment. We laughed, we cried, we danced, we sang, we celebrated, we connected. It was a pep rally, and we needed one.
Plants remind us we’re connected, and they help us to connect. Plant Pride was and is a celebration of all the ways we grow together. If you were in the room that night, you’ve actively helped us navigate what comes next for Botany and The Botany Block, because we’ll be measuring our performance as a small business based on the things you shared. We’ll define our profit by the sum health, happiness, safety, connection, comfort, and beauty we cultivate in the spaces we hold, and we thank you for helping us shape this vision.
We’ll be sharing more in the days and weeks ahead as we continue to process and interpret your ideas and visions. We’ll look forward to continuing these conversations in the Shop, online, over coffee, on the street, and in the Botany Block itself. We’re just getting started, and we can’t wait to keep growing with you.
You are our community and I hope you feel connected in this moment. I hope you’re open to collaborate, to meet your neighbors, and to help us create the community you want to live in.
Plants remind us we’re connected, and they help us to connect.
Thank you, all, for everything. We’re perpetually grateful you’re our community. It takes a village, and we’re glad you’re ours.
Let’s grow stuff.
Benjamin Futa | CEO
P.S. We’ve recently launched our crowdfunding campaign to help us build the Botany Block. If you’re able to support us financially, we welcome your partnership as a Botany Backer. It’s worth noting becoming a Backer is one of many ways you can contribute to our work, and we encourage you to engage with us however feels right for you. If you’re able to share your time, talents, skills, and resources, we’d welcome a conversation to explore how we can collaborate.